How many partners? Am I bad?

[Elite]

Originally Posted by honeychile

Tucson ADPi, please check your PMs!

Tucson ADPi,
Please let us know if Honeychile gave you a sisterly rebuke via private message!

[valkyrie]

For reals, I can't even imagine why anybody would care about someone's number. I'd be creeped out by a guy with a very, very low one, but other than that, wouldn't care. If a guy ever wanted to get all judgmental about mine, I'd know that it's because his insecure, inexperienced self couldn't handle it, and I probably wouldn't waste my time with him anyway.

[highflyerlaura]

For me the number is zero, solely because I just haven't felt the need for that sort of relationship so far. If something comes along, great, if not though, it doesn't bother me too much. I've got more important things on my list to worry about, and I'm happy just having a absolutely fantastic lot of friends.

[WhiteDaisy128]

To me, 30 is a crazy-lot (but 7 is a lot to me too - maybe I'm just young, naive, and inexperienced). I'm not judging one's experiences or whether it's good or bad. I would want to make sure that all of those experiences were safe ones...the more partners...the larger chance of exposure to STDs, etc. I think keeping it on one hand is the way I plan to go.

[totallycommitted]

^^^ 30 sounds like a lot of people. I understand being in college but you have to use wisdom and have self-respect as well. College is a time to have fun and wild out but it is not necessarily time to treat your body like a trash can for anyone willing to let you put your garbage in or needing to deposit garbage into.
As for the guy having too few partners, I think it is sad that people feel that way, but yet when a guy is jumping from woman to woman he is viewed as a "dog." So a woman can decide that she doesn't want to put herself at risk for STIs, emotional problems and babies from 10 different people but a man can't do the same? I would respect a man who didn't have a list in the triple digits or better yet one in which he could not even remember all the names and faces. To me that is totally disgusting.
So the question is what do you do now? You felt like there must have been something wrong with him for only having been with 7 people, but then you can't handle the fact he looked at you crazy when you said 30+. Prehaps you should both try to leave the past where it is... it can't be changed now and just move on from today. If that is possible, then just let it go. It may seem like something minor but it may not be. Good luck

[DeltAlum]

I'm sorry. I know this is a cheap shot, but please take it in the fun manner in which it intended.

But...

Where were you women when I was in college?

[Scandia]

Valkyrie- I would not be creeped out in the least bit. On the contrary, I would be proud of him. Sure sure, there could be a not so healthy explanation. But I am willing to give a person the benefit of the doubt. And if there were a majorly problematic reason, it would have manifested itself in other ways.

HFLaura- Yay! That is a great attitude to have.

Totallycommitted- I hate double standards very much. All of them- not just this one. And as you said, they hurt men as much as they hurt women. I know someone who did sleep around during a problem period- and the person deeply regrets it and it majorly hurt psychologically even though there were no concrete consequences (no STDs or unwanted pregnancies).

[valkyrie]

Originally Posted by Scandia

Valkyrie- I would not be creeped out in the least bit. On the contrary, I would be proud of him. Sure sure, there could be a not so healthy explanation. But I am willing to give a person the benefit of the doubt. And if there were a majorly problematic reason, it would have manifested itself in other ways.

Well, that's the thing -- it's different for everybody. I wouldn't want a guy who is any of the following:

-inexperienced
-unattractive/otherwise unappealing
-religious

By the time a guy is in his mid-20s or so, I think those are the most likely reasons for a guy having a very, very low number. Someone else might like, for example, a Christian guy who wants to save himself for the right person -- I, however, would run for the hills.

ETA: And LOL @ Delt Alum.

[Scandia]

Well, I do want a fine Christian gentleman who has saved himself for the right person That's for sure. In my book: the less experienced, the better.

I do not know for sure what you mean by attractive. But let's just say I do care about looks. I do not want or need a GQ model- just someone who is at least decent looking and takes good care of himself.

I'm not a religious fanatic either. I do have a healthy attitude towards human sexuality and believe that it is for the union of two persons who love each other, not just for reproduction. But I do have Christian morals.

Told you I was a square peg in a round hole!

[lilsunshine214]

My boyfriend and I are each other's one and only. I've always said I was going to have my one and only at the end of the aisle, we just haven't gotten to the whole aisle part yet.